I know I'm digressing a bit from what the core of my blog is about, but I really did want to take an entry to share some of my experiences over the past week. I think it's important to face things your afraid of, things that you wish you could forget about. In the past few days, I've tackled two of my 'demons' if you will, and I do feel an enlightened sense of closure because of it.
The first was completing my first half marathon. No, I didn't run it as quickly as I had initially wanted to, but you know what - I finished it. Back in high school, I managed to fake being sick on mile run day three out of four years because I hated the idea of running so much. Looking back, a mile seemed so far to me then and I just ran thirteen of them. I conquered something that I honestly never thought I would do and I'm damn proud of myself for it. Will I run another one? Maybe. I did learn to enjoy the training process and the actual act of running, so we'll see - no commitments as of yet.
Completing the half really freed me of the thought that I'm limited in what I can do. Accomplishing something that I didn't think was possible really opened my eyes to what I can do if I just put my mind to it. There's no benefit to doubting yourself. I accept that I'm going to try things and some won't be success the first go around. That's okay. I never would have completed the half if I didn't try.
The second piece of closure I got this past week really helped me mentally move past a chapter in my life that I've tried to put behind me for a while now. When I left my position with Disney, it was definitely abrupt. I went from being happy-go-lucky in my job one day to sitting in an HR office telling my Director of Operations to go fornicate himself [not quite in those words, but you get the idea] for trying to tell me what I could and could not do in my personal life. I was left with a bitter, jaded resentment toward the entire company, and to a point, my entire experience there. I know there will always be people in my life who find joy in the suffering of others and I fell privy to the games these people play. Unfortunately, it took me five years to realize that maybe that day wasn't meant to destroy me, but push me in the right direction.
Returning to Walt Disney World, on the five year anniversary of my quitting, was almost poetic. Its feels odd to say that a day at a theme park was an emotional experience for me, but it really was. For the first time, I was returning to a place that had been such an important part of my life for so many years. It's a place that fell from the highest regard to the deepest resentment, literally overnight and going back, as a guest and experiencing it from a different perspective truly did give me the closure I didn't even really know I needed.
Will I ever love Disney as much as I did on my first College Program? Probably not. The 'magic' is different for me now. Before, I saw it as this amazing world that was created to evoke fantasy and wonder - a place where you could go and escape the pangs of reality. Unfortunately, I don't get whisked away anymore but I do understand, from a different perspective, how people do. Instead, my magic came from triggering the positive memories I created there and remembering the great people I've had the change to get know.
Going back as a guest actually helped me put a lot of the negative feelings I had behind me and really appreciate my experience there for what it was. I gained knowledge and a skill set that have proven invaluable to me in my life since, I was exposed to people and experiences I never would have been otherwise and I had the opportunity to impact the lives of both my cast and guests - hopefully for the better.
Again, I'm sorry to digress on such a tangent from my typical posts, I just needed to speak my mind and share what's been going through my mind the past few days. It feels good to have achieved something I never thought I could and to truly be able to put a chapter of my life behind me and look back with positive reflection.
Tonight, I'll be creating a dessert bar for my friend Evelyn's 5th birthday party on Saturday and I'll have plenty of fun princess-themed recipes to share with you all soon! Also, please click here to become a follower and be eligible for my dessert give away on March 17th!