Friday, November 8, 2013

To Lizzy...

For the past three years, it's hard to think about you without thinking about much I miss you.  This year, I want to try an approach things a little differently.  Not having you here sucks and there's nothing that's ever going to change that; you were, are and always will be one of the most important people in my life and to have you taken from us hurts like nothing else I've ever felt.

What I want to focus on however, is how thankful I am.  I'm thankful for the seven years you were a part of my life and the impact you made on me that will never fade.  I'm thankful that I got to meet the little sister I never had growing up.  With that, I'm thankful for all of the challenges we lived through in our friendship because I think that was part of why I think of you as a sister.  Our relationship wasn't perfect but I loved you unconditionally and would have done anything for you.  I'm thankful for each and every memory I have of you and how precious those are to me. 

I remember meeting you and having this instant connection, almost like we were supposed to be friends.  I remember the summer we lived together and all of our nights at Evelyn's and the Cowesett Inn.  I remember coming home to visit when I lived in North Carolina and you being a huge part of what convinced me to move back to Boston.  I remember the Thanksgiving dinner party you threw four years ago and the overwhelming feeling of joy I felt that day.  I remember going out on Saint Patrick's Day and both of us realizing that we were so much older than we thought.  I remember the last time I spoke to you, and despite how sick you were, I could tell how good you were doing.  You had just moved into your new apartment and I was so happy for you.  I can wish a thousand times over that I had tried harder to convince you to come out that night, despite illness, so that I could have seen you one more time but wishing won't change that.  Instead, I'm going to choose be grateful that I got to talk to you that night and in our last conversation, I knew how well you were doing and that you were happy.  

While I still miss you more than anything, I'm choosing to focus on the seven years we had together, instead of three since you've been gone.  I know you're here with me all the time and thinking of you is such a huge inspiration whenever I'm facing a challenge.  For that, I want to thank you.  Without even knowing it, you've pushed me to achieve things I never thought I could.  I love you so much and you hold a place in my heart forever.  XoXo

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